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This period of time is overwhelming. It’s a really sick period of time that made me wonder, who the hell thought of combining Industrial Attachment with two other modules? I wonder if EE3001 has been handled well by the department of electrical and computer engineering. In a way I seem to meet the prof once every two weeks, and everytime he sees us he says good. And it lasts about 20 minutes max? There was once we were out in about 5. I wonder what kind of guidance the prof gave us. Or are we that good? I highly doubt so.

With Mazin’s group only getting approval recently, as compared to us getting it quite some weeks ago, I wonder how she is going to survive. Even I feel tired. Just yesterday we presented the technical details to the professor. We got quotes and prices and we were about to tell him the price of each item, but he just simply asked us the final price of each mat. Swee la professor. Really like that cause the details doesn’t matter. But it just cut shorts the meeting timing. Was wondering if he could have given us something to think about.

Since our final report is due in a few weeks time, we have split into the three departments, technical department, finance department as well as the marketing department, of which its Marketing Manager is yours truly. Would have really loved to call myself Marketing Director but hey my boss is a Project Manager, so I can’t up myself. He should have called himself CEO or something. As Marketing Manager (self professed, just for fun), I have Ko Ko as my marketing executive. I’m sorry for making her my subordinate, though it is a just for fun thing. At least I gave it a cool sounding name. Executive! Wow. I asked for my pay, its about 4,500? Think I can get a phantom car soon. Asked for fake car allowances and perks, the finance manager says she’ll think about it. Well, it’s good we’re having fun to regain our sanity.

As Marketing Manager, or rather, just in the marketing department, my role is to set up the report on all things marketing. That’s the report role actually. The real purpose of the marketing department is to brainstorm and think of how we’re going to market and position our product to the world. That’s right, to the world. We supposedly belonged to “Activision Blizzard”, yes, we “make” those Warcraft, Diablo and Starcraft games. Supposedly.

Marketing’s an awfully exciting new journey for me. I would have loved to have time for myself to read more marketing books and how major firms do their marketing. But time is not on my side. I’m going to leverage on the books I have read in the past, ideas I have gotten from reading those blogs, and my experience in Internet Marketing to push this thing through. Oh ya. As well as MKT1001’s experience.

But it’s making my life busy. Just yesterday I finished my work at midnight because I needed to rest, not because I finished the entire thing. Already got quite a lot of stuff out, but I need to start asking for quotes and finding venues and event managing companies. Money money money. Need to present a report to the other departments on Saturday and submit the costs preferably by Saturday as well so that the finance department need not do last minute work trying to incorporate all the costs in. Busy! The life of a marketing manager. LOL.

But it is really fun. Sometimes its a little weird how you feel happy when you are busy and you have deadlines to hit. Sounds crazy I know. Some people probably roll their eyes. I think I got this problem ever since I entered the army. During that day in GCC where we were happy to get tekaned by the 5 min PT kit and then 5 min FBO and loop until CSM is tired. We all laughed and had fun. Maybe this is how we deal with it.

Anyway I just submitted my SIA Open Scholarship Application. I am going to pray that I get an interview. Meanwhile the quest is not over. Time to prepare for interview before they call me up.

And there’s HR2002. Need to do research on CSI. Haiz. How much work can one person take? I’m sorry if I cannot appreciate other people whining to me about how their semester is because you have seen nothing until you take IA and two modules which require projects. But I’m not saying whining is not good. I’m doing it anyway what.

So there. Back to more research!

I was having this conversation with my friends yesterday during dinner. Most of us are on attachment to various different companies, only one of us is in school. It seemed like no matter which place you went to work at, you just have this common thing amongst the working people, that is, when you return home, you just don’t feel like working at all. All you want is to slack and not do anymore work. Which explains why when I reach home I wish there was someone special. Then you can cook for each other, do some common activities. Watch our favourite shows. Just kidding. Slacking is super unproductive, I would say.

Whatever happened to wanting to improve and become above the rest? Whilst the rest are slacking and watching TV, you just read more books, read more annual reports, do analysis on the stock market, or simply do something that improves you? For example, learning a new language, or learning selling skills (sales), or learning about management, marketing and the rest? Or doing a second business during the night? Whatever happened to all those? I, and everyone in the discussion, seemed to have fallen into the working trap. The trap where you think you just had a long day and you deserved a break.

Yes you probably deserved it. You worked so hard for it. Oh really? Or are we just giving ourselves an excuse to slack and watch some drama? Or are we just plain addicted to watching shows on TV or on the computer, or going on Facebook and playing some lame game that involves some farming (Hey I did it for a long time last year)?

Are you just contented to remain plain average? Have you read the news recently? We’re having this new scheme where we have partner universities offering degrees, so polytechnic students can now upgrade their diploma to a degree. It makes it easier to have a degree now. And the new Singapore University that’s going to be built in the east? We’ll be swarmed with degree holders.

In our parent’s era, degree holders are like woah. They are rare, and when your family has a degree holder, the rest of the extended family will be so amazed and think your son is like some smart person. A rare gem. Now? The situation is totally different. You start to feel that almost everyone is a university graduate. Naturally it might be a little far fetched to suggest that statement is true in Singapore, but you get what I mean. There’s just so much more of us that it is now NORMAL to have a university degree.

When your parents and teachers tell you that you must study hard, go into a good university, get a degree and you’ll be set for life, they are lying. In reality, getting a degree is like the pre requisite to everything else. Now, to set yourself apart, you get a degree, and then get a second degree. Or a Masters, like I am planning to get. You have to set yourself apart from the rest, else how do you climb high and enjoy your life?

I don’t want to be a worker drone where I just keep working and working. I want a career that I am passionate about. A career that grooms me. A career that I can work and climb as long as I keep improving myself. I want so much in life! I want a nice car, a nice house, a beautiful wife (hey the girl I marry, she’ll be beautiful, no matter how what other people think. So this ain’t a shallow comment), two nice kids (what’s up with “NICE”), a yacht where you can go swimming and fishing, and retire to a life full of holidays and exploring other countries.

So how can I reach home and not do proper work? Like my friend said, in the past, when she had CCA, and more modules to catch up on, as well as tuition and other external lessons, she still had the energy to do her things when she reach home. We’ve all fallen to this new low of not working. Our energy being depleted as we reach home. What happened to us?

Our determination and engine have rusted. We’re just not hungry enough to push ourselves. We just need to get our engines resumed and moving. And once we make working a habit, the chains will be too hard to break.

在追寻 那片梦想
寻找� 那线希望
在��的天空
那片你会存在的地方

有人说 雨过天晴�
总会有彩虹的出现
我等待 我会等待
那 缤纷的 �烂的
那个 我想�惜的
让我想用我的一生去爱的
我相信的 彩虹幸�

�有你能把我那
�过伤的心 �化� 永远的快�
�有你在我身�
�色的世界 �会是 永�的 色彩缤纷

彩虹的微笑
�似�形的翅膀
我想紧紧牵�你的手
我想飞

飞到 那宽阔的海空
飞到 天涯海角
��有彩的陪伴
我哪里都愿�

为了彩 为了梦 为了幸�
我会勇往直�
我会飞

Ko Ko wrote this for me. Based on the things I have said to her, or via my tweets, or my blog. A collection of many ideas I wrote about the rainbow and waiting for my rainbow to come. It’s supposed to be a song but its tuneless since nobody knows how to write tunes.

Can you read the title? How is it pronounced at your side? If you said “xian cai. meng”, then you are wrong! Guess you don’t know me enough! Haha.

My family went to dinner at Vivocity today, at an Italian restaurant (resutoran. sorry just wanted to say that in jap style). It’s called Modesto’s and it was the first time I had dinner there. The occasion was to celebrate my sister’s excellent A level results, as well as my dad’s pay increment.

I ordered the Tagliatelle Nere Con Cappesante E Gamberi In Salsa Di Crostacei, which is actually fresh home made black ink flat pasta served with sauteed scallops, prawns and diced tomatoes in a shrimp bisque sauce. I didn’t remember the name, of course. I took it from the online menu. It smelled super nice when it came, and the scallops were great. I loved it. I ordered that dish for the scallops actually. But I had a problem with the prawns. They are too soft, meaning they are not fresh. It was quite a dampener to an otherwise nice meal. Black ink pasta is a nice try too, but I guess I will still pick linguine anytime.

Other than pasta, I chose a cocktail called Kamikaze, which is vodka, triple sec & Lime Cordial mixed together. It’s the only Jap name there and Lime sounded what I would like to have, so I chose it. I didn’t order the dessert because I was too full from the McDonalds lunch at 3pm.

It was an enjoyable meal. After dinner we went near the sea side facing Sentosa. They had fireworks! What a surprise. The IR looked like a place I would like to visit with a special someone. There’s this ride you can take up a tall tower and down. It’s not those roller coaster rides so it would be a nice romantic evening I guess, being on it? I haven’t even gone on the flyer yet. I wonder who will receive the honour of joining me on my maiden journey up the flyer.

Oh. And during dinner, there’s this male and female with their young boy. The boy had cream all over his face from his pasta/pizza (not sure which), and his mum whipped out her iPhone and took several cute shots. Don’t you find it heartwarming? Haha. I do.

Sorry about these recent bout of feeling for other’s established families. Maybe it’s that time already. I’m like quite old. Haha.

It’s quite rare that I post two posts in the same day, and it is even more rare that it happens consecutively twice, with only 1 day break in between. But I guess when you have something off your chest you would like to say, you should just say it and make yourself feel better. Plus I know of friends who care, and ask my best buddy Jia Hao about what happened to me. And anyway there is no need to hide anything. It is something that people go through, and they emerge stronger and better. Plus they understand themselves more, so it is a good thing.

Anyway I was quite affected over something recently, which I guess anybody would be affected by it. Before I say anything regarding the subject matter at hand, I would like to first clarify that whilst when it affects me, I do feel really down, but usually the period of time when I feel down will soon reverse and then I’ll feel much happier and positive. Great music really helps, and also friends to talk to, who encourage you and show you pretty photos to remind you of your dream. Thanks, you know who you are.

I guess most people would have already known that I was in a rough patch during the new year of 2010. There was a person and we had issues. It was really complicated, but we went our separate ways. I guess it is always good to remain friends, but sometimes that is not really the case. Awkwardness sets in. Feelings of confusion, doubt and many other things. But that’s just a brief background. I’m not going in depth because then people would start judging and saying things, which is really unfair to everyone.

Recently, this friend of mine got attached again. I thought I would be fine and cool with everything. But I guess I wasn’t that strong after all. Sometimes it takes time. No matter how many times I tell people that I’m alright, there are times when you just don’t feel right. And that moment of weakness, you fall and you wonder what’s going on with your life. The funny thing is that you know few months down the road you’ll look at this and laugh, because it happened before.

But you still allow yourself times to feel upset and hurt anyway. Maybe it’s part of the process. And it is always the healing that is the painful part for the wounds isn’t it?

Anyway the purpose of writing this is to come to terms with it, and just walk on without needing to carry this like a burden of worry. People do move on, and it is time to do so. After all, as the cliche goes, “You’ll meet someone better”. Which I agree, for it is not that the new person is better than the old, but you know more about yourself, so you’ll find someone that is more suited for you.

And there are more things in life to worry about. At this stage, it is probably, what else other than school can I do? What type of jobs should I apply for? How much starting pay can I command? Is it possible to work overseas? What about dreams for the future? What would you like to achieve?

On a side note, I’ve been feeling rather paternal lately. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the age you just start to change your priorities and think about the near future, like in 5 years time?

It’s time for everyone to move forward and be happy. Be happy that life gives you whatever you have right now. Be happy with the person you are with. Be happy with the friends that surround you. Be happy for everything.

Be happy. Even when I may feel a little weird around you, it’s something normal. ç¥�ç¦�你。:)